Hold On To Me
by Rachel Wilder
Summary: AU from 5x09, Deacon and Rayna face their greatest challenge yet after she survives the trauma of the confrontation with her stalker and the resulting car accident.
1. Prologue

_When you feel your world shaking.  
_ _When you feel your faith fading.  
_ _When you feel like love is taking, way too long._

 **Prologue**

Deacon walked into the house. The kitchen was dark. It was quiet, too quiet. He set his bag down on the counter and headed toward the stairs.

They had only had a couple of months of real happiness after the wedding. Of just being in love, of no worries. After all those years, it didn't seem fair. They deserved so much more.

He walked down the hall. The girls' rooms were empty. It used to feel like a home, filled with love and joy and now it was dark and empty, just a house.

He stopped at the bedroom door, steeling himself before he opened it. Why was it so quiet?

He walked into the room. The bed was torn apart. He crossed into the bathroom and there she was. Again.

He walked up to her, put his hand in the water and felt how cold it had gotten. He slapped her face to wake her up.

She looked up at him, a look of pain, of horror on her face.

He sank down next to her, his heart breaking.

"Rayna!" he called as her eyes closed again. She struggled to sit up in the bathtub. He reached his hand in, releasing the water.

As it drained away, leaving her huddled in the empty tub he handed her a towel.

"Dry off," he ordered. "We need to talk."

* * *

 ** _Thanks for checking out this teaser...stay tuned for more._**


	2. Chapter 1

"Hey," Rayna said sleepily as she looked over at Deacon. He was sitting slouched in the chair next to her bed, his legs sticking out, one booted foot resting on the other. "You sleep here again last night?"

"Well, Dr. Reynolds said you'd be ready to go home today if everything looked good," Deacon said. "I couldn't think of another night at home without you."

"Well, I know I'm ready to get out of this place," Rayna said looking over at the IV hanging above her bed. "Course, I don't think I'll be in my sequins too soon."

"You're gonna have to be patient," Deacon replied. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Rayna answered. "Course, that isn't exactly my strong suit."

A nurse knocked and walked into the room. "Morning," she said as she came over to Rayna's bedside. "How'd you sleep?"

Rayna shrugged. "Pretty good, I guess."

"How's your pain?" the nurse asked. "Scale of one to ten."

Rayna shifted slightly and groaned. "Eight?"

"Here's your medication," the nurse said as she handed Rayna a cup of pills and a glass of water.

Rayna tipped the cup into her mouth and took a sip. "Hope that helps."

"Let's do what we can to stay ahead of it," the nurse replied. "I'll let Dr. Reynolds know you're still having a lot of discomfort."

She turned to Deacon. "Mr. Claybourne, there's a caseworker here to talk about what you're going to need to be set up at home."

Deacon leaned down to kiss Rayna. "I'll be right back, baby."

"I'll be here," Rayna said as her eyes closed again. "Right here."

* * *

"So, what do we need to do?" Deacon asked Jennifer, the caseworker, as he sat down at the small round table across from the young woman.

"I've got a list," she said, pointing to her clipboard. "Thank you again for taking me through the house yesterday."

"Of course," Deacon replied. "Whatever we have to do to get Rayna home."

"Well, as I said, she won't be able to get up the steps for a while, so I've ordered a hospital bed for us to put in your guestroom on the main floor. We'll send over some other mobility items to help out during her recovery, a wheelchair and later a walker when they order it in rehab. We'll need some things for the bathroom, to help her be more independent, to shower and so on."

"And what about the home care?" Deacon asked.

"At first she's going to need a fair amount of care, so we'll have a nurse and health care aide or two to fill in the schedule. She won't be able to be alone at first."

"Can I meet with these people?" Deacon asked. "Before we have someone in the house, I'd like to meet them."

"Definitely," she replied. "How about I get a couple people here this morning for you to talk to before you head home."

"Good," Deacon answered. "I know we want to get going, but I want to make sure we have everything ready so we can make it as smooth as possible.

* * *

"Well, things look good here," Dr. Reynolds said as she completed her examination of Rayna's injuries. "The surgical repair looks stable and now we just have to be patient and work on your recovery."

"How long do you expect that to take?" Rayna asked.

The doctor looked up from her notes. "Well, it depends a bit, but this first phase is going to require bed rest and taking time to get the bones healing. We don't want to do anything to put any stress on those fractures while they're healing. After that, we'll get you started on some intensive rehab."

"How long until you think I can perform again?" Rayna asked.

The doctor shook her head. "I wouldn't be able to predict right now, but you're looking at about twelve months for a complete recovery. I know it probably isn't what you want to hear, but you're also very lucky. This kind of traumatic injury can have very serious consequences. You will recover from this."

Deacon took Rayna's hand in his. When Rayna first got to the hospital, he hadn't understood just how serious this was, how quickly it could all change until another patient on the floor with a similar injury died. They had been very, very lucky.

"And the pain?" Rayna asked. "How long should I expect that to last?"

"It's different for everyone, but you'll want to keep taking that pain medication for at least four weeks and you may need to continue it as you move on to rehab. We don't want you to be held back from your recovery by the pain."

Rayna nodded.

"Okay, so we've got transport ready to get you home and I'll see you again in a week. Take care, Rayna and be patient. Many times that's that hardest part of all of this."

Rayna chuckled. "That's what my friend Juliette tells me."

Deacon shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you, Dr. Reynolds, for all you done. We appreciate it."

* * *

Deacon stood outside the door as the ambulance pulled up. Rayna had not been happy about coming home this way, but the fact was, she was home.

"Okay, girls, let's let the EMTs do what they need," Deacon said as the men opened the back door and lifted Rayna out.

"Welcome home, Mom!" Daphne said as they pushed the gurney up to the door.

"Don't take any pictures," Rayna said. "I don't need to have this moment memorialized."

Her humor had stayed pretty good throughout the hospital stay and Deacon knew it would help everyone's recovery to have her home.

"Okay, let's stand back and let them get in," Deacon said as he opened the doors to let them into the house. He trailed behind as they headed down the hall and into the guest room where the queen bed had been removed and Rayna's hospital bed was now located.

"Aw, this looks good," Rayna said as they moved into the room. "Of course, your Aunt Tandy will be sorry that I've taken over her room."

"She said she didn't mind," Maddie replied. "She does want to come visit, though."

"That sounds nice," Rayna replied.

"Okay, Ms. Jaymes, let's get you off this gurney and into bed," one of the EMTs said as they lined her up next to the bed.

"C'mon girls, let's give you mom a minute to get settled and then we can come back in and see her," Deacon said as he ushered the girls back out into the hall.

As they stepped out, they heard Rayna cry out in pain.

"Is she okay?" Daphne asked.

Deacon put his arm around her. "She's gonna be just fine. It's just...it's just gonna take a while."

"Okay, I think we're done here," the EMT said as they pushed the gurney back out into the hall.

"Thank you," Deacon replied. "We appreciate you getting her home safe and sound."

"Our pleasure, Mr. Claybourne," the other EMT said. "Have a good night."

Deacon followed them to the door and let them out, then walked back to the guest room.

"Okay for us to come in?" he asked from the door.

Rayna nodded. "Sure. I'm just...maybe give me a minute?"

"You need anything?" Deacon asked.

Rayna looked over at him. "Is it time for another pill?"

Deacon looked over at the clock on the bedside table. "Not just yet. You okay?"

Rayna sighed. "I'll be fine. I'm just...damn, everything hurts."

Deacon went over and sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's gonna hurt. For a while. But that also means you're getting better, right?"

Rayna nodded. "Right. I'm just...it makes it hard to feel like myself. I feel like I'm either doped up or wishing I was."

"The nurse should be here in about an hour to get you ready for bed," Deacon added.

"And you talked to her?" Rayna asked. "She's...you talked to her?"

"I did and I had her checked out by the security team. She's got great references and I think you'll like her."

"I hate being such a bother to you all," Rayna responded, her voice quiet.

Deacon leaned forward and kissed her gently. "Having you here is all we need, Ray. That's never gonna be a bother."

She smiled. "Okay, send in my girls. That's the only pill I need right now."

* * *

Deacon came back into Rayna's room after the nurse left for the night.

"You doing okay?" he asked as he paused the end of the bed.

Rayna nodded. "Just getting used to it all," she replied. "But it was good to spend some time with the girls."

"They've been worried and really missing you," Deacon responded.

Rayna patted her hand on the bed next to her. "Come over here. I had Sue make sure there was room for you when she got me back into bed."

Deacon moved over to the side of the bed and paused. "You sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm sure," Rayna said, nodding. "Get up here."

"My feet smell," he said as he pulled off his boots and eased onto the side of the bed.

"I don't mind," she answered. "See, it's just like being in our bed upstairs."

"Nearly so," Deacon replied. He rolled onto his side. "I've been thinking about that. I think I should put a bed down here for me. I don't like the idea of being so far away if you need something."

"I'll be fine," Rayna replied. She pointed toward the baby monitor on her bedside table. "See, I've got my trusty baby monitor."

"It's too far," Deacon replied. He sat up. "I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, he came back into the room. He picked up the chair in the corner and moved it toward the bed. He slid the bookshelf toward the other wall, then disappeared back into the hallway. When he returned he had a cot. He opened it up along the wall.

"Where did you find that?" Rayna asked. "You're going to sleep on that?"

"It was in the garage. Perhaps from your days camping as a family?" Deacon said. "I saw it one time when I was looking for that hard side case for Maddie's guitar."

"I have no idea," Rayna replied. "But I can promise it is not from any time I went camping. As far as I am concerned, camping is sleeping at the Holiday Inn with the windows open."

Deacon laughed. "You might protest about it, but when you come right down to it, you're Belle Meade born and bred, Rayna Jaymes."

"Okay, well, you got your little bed. That's good enough for tonight, but we're finding another option tomorrow," Rayna replied.

"Sounds good," Deacon said as he got back into bed next to her. "But for now, I think I'll just lay right now."

* * *

After Rayna fell asleep, Deacon headed upstairs to get some bedding for his camp cot. As he headed back down the hallway, he heard her cry out. He dropped the pillow and blankets and rushed to her room.

"No, no," she was sobbing as he tried to wake her.

"Ray," he said over and over until finally her eyes open. "Hey, babe, you're having a bad dream."

She looked up at him and shook her head. "It wasn't a dream. He was right here, Deacon. In the room with me."

He looked over at the clock. "Hey, let me go get you something to sleep, and then I'm gonna be right here. I'm never gonna let him get near you again."

He stopped at the door and looked back. In the daylight, she was Rayna, but here in the dark, he could see that she was fragile, broken and not quite all there yet.

He'd have to tell her about Carl Wayne Hockney and about the other guy, the one in the truck that'd hit her. The DA told him they'd do everything to not have to have her testify, but he hadn't been able to promise Deacon.

But all of that could wait for now. Now as for healing and getting better.

* * *

 _ **Thank you to everyone for the encouraging notes on the prologue and many thanks to Beth Pryor for making sure I don't make any major mistakes!**_


	3. Chapter 2

_Baby, hold on to me,_

 _Tighter than your sweetest memory, of you and me._

 _A place to lay your troubles down,_

 _That's what I'll be._

 _Baby, hold on to me, on to me._

 **Chapter 2**

The first two weeks at home had passed without incident, but Rayna was starting to get stir crazy and the DA had been pressing Deacon to let him interview her about the attack at Highway 65. At least the drunk driver, realizing the gravity of having hit a police car and nearly killing a major country star had quickly cut a plea agreement.

Deacon looked down at his phone, sighed and answered the call. "Deacon Claybourne."

"Mr. Claybourne, I'm wondering if there might be a good time to come over to speak to your wife today."

He looked down the hallway toward Rayna's room where her home health aide was getting her ready for the day.

"You know, my wife is still recovering and I really don't…" he started.

"And I'm sure you realize that if we're going to get this guy, we need to talk to her and we've already waited longer than we really should," the DA replied.

"He still in jail?" Deacon asked as he picked at the cuticle that seemed to be perpetually irritated at the edge of his thumb.

"He is. I don't think he's going to make bail this time."

"Better not, cause you might remember that he was out on bail when this happened," Deacon responded, his voice clipped. He sighed. "Let me talk to Rayna and I'll call you back."

The man was still replying when Deacon ended the call. He rubbed his finger across the sore thumb and started down the hall. He'd have to tell her about it all sooner or later. Might as well make it sooner.

* * *

"Hey, babe," Rayna said as he walked in, a broad smile across her face.

"Morning, Mr. Claybourne," the health aide said as she walked out of the bathroom. "Okay, I think you're set for now. I'll be back after lunch, okay?"

"Thanks, Julie," Rayna said as the woman picked up her purse and started for the door.

Deacon crossed over and sat down on the edge of her bed. "How you feeling today?"

Rayna shrugged. "About the same, I guess. Ready to be done with this. Hey, did Zach call? I know he's hoping we can work on the tracks some more."

Deacon shook his head. "I told him it's gonna have to wait."

"Why?" Rayna asked. "Isn't this why we have a studio in our house?"

"What part of you need to stay in bed do you not understand?" Deacon asked as he smiled at her. "Zach will get his record soon enough. Plus, I thought you still wanted to work on that last song."

Rayna smiled and nodded. "Yes, our coda."

Deacon looked down, then back over at her. "Uh, I do need to talk to you about somethin' else."

"What is it, Deacon?" she asked, her face matching the serious look on his. She reached over and took his hand. "Just say it, whatever it is."

"The DA wants to come over and talk to you, about that night, with Hockney," Deacon replied, his voice quiet.

"Oh," Rayna responded. She looked over at Deacon. "Where is he?"

"Jail," Deacon replied. "Either they didn't give him bail or it's more than he can pay, but he's still there."

"Good," Rayna replied. "Why do I have to talk to them?"

"They have your statement from when the police came that night, but they're getting ready for the trial and he wants to talk to you about a few things," Deacon explained.

"Will I have to testify?' Rayna asked.

Deacon tightened his hand around hers. "I don't know. Maybe. Most important thing is that we need to make sure he can't do that kind of thing again."

Rayna nodded. "Go ahead, tell them to come over, but maybe tomorrow?"

Deacon nodded. "I'll let them know."

* * *

Rayna looked down at the magazine in front of her. She'd reread the page at least ten times. She looked over at the clock. The DA would be here in fifteen minutes. She shifted slightly and without being able to stop, called out.

"You okay?" Deacon asked, as he walked into the room. "You hurtin'?"

Rayna nodded. Deacon looked at the sheet on the dresser in her room. "It's still a couple hours until your next dose. I'm sorry, babe."

Rayna nodded.

"I'm sorry this is all so painful," he said as he sat down on the edge of her bed. She groaned. "Sorry, am I hurtin' you?"

Rayna shook her head, her lips pinched. "It just all hurts so much, babe. I wish I was handling this better."

"I think you're handlin' it as well as you can, babe. The doctor said it's going to take a long time and it's gonna hurt, a lot. I remember after I hurt my hand I never thought I was going to feel right again and then after my transplant. But it got better. You'll get better."

"What if I don't?" Rayna said, tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes. "What if I can't get better, if this pain never goes away, if I'm not able to be on stage, perform like I used to…"

Deacon carefully moved closer to her, taking her in his arms. "We'll figure it out, babe. We'll figure it out."

* * *

Rayna looked over at the man sitting in the chair next to her bed. What had he just asked her? The pain in her hip was stabbing, getting more intense as he asked question after question about that night in the office.

"What?" she said, shaking her head. "Why do you need to hear all of this again?"

The DA looked down at his notes. "I'm sorry about this Ms. Jaymes, but I want us to have our best possible chance at keeping this man away from you and your family for a long time."

She let out a short laugh. "Like you did after he menaced my daughter?"

Deacon stepped forward. "Maybe we can continue this another day?"

The DA looked between them and folded his notebook closed. "Sure, that would be fine. Would it work for me to come back tomorrow?"

"Let me give you a call in the morning," Deacon said as he stood at the door of the bedroom waiting to usher the man out.

When he returned, Rayna was pale and shaking slightly.

"What's the matter, babe?" he asked as he came up to her bedside.

"Is it time yet?" she asked. "It hurts worse than ever before."

Deacon looked over at the clock. It wasn't, but it was close enough and he couldn't bear to see her like this. He nodded. "Yeah, let me just go get your pills and some water."

He went over, shook the pills out and looked down at the sheet where they tracked the time and doses of her medications. It was almost an hour early, but he couldn't leave her like this, in such awful pain. He wrote down the time he should have given them to her and came back to the bed with the pills and a bottle of water.

"Here you go, babe, but I'm gonna talk to the nurse. We can't have you in this much pain. It's not okay."

Rayna took the pills from him and swallowed. She closed her eyes.

"You need anything?" Deacon asked as he stood next to her.

She shook her head slightly. "No...I'm just gonna...let this work."

Deacon leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. He watched for a moment, then turned and headed out of the room.

* * *

 _She was listening to the music when he was suddenly in front of her, the knife in his hand. She tried to scream, but she couldn't. The panic filled her, her heart pounding._

" _You can call me, Wayne," he was saying._

 _Just keep him calm, let me get out of here. But she couldn't. She couldn't move, she couldn't scream._

 _Why was he here? Why wasn't he in jail?_

"Rayna."

She heard the voice calling her name, but he kept coming closer to her, she was crying, she couldn't get away.

"Rayna, honey, wake up."

 _Her eyes wouldn't open. He was getting closer all the time. She wasn't going to get away from him this time. He was going to stab her. He was stabbing her right now._

 _I'm not threatening you, he shouted at her. I wanted to talk to you._

 _But she didn't want to talk to him, she wanted to get away._

"Rayna. Come on, honey, wake up."

She opened her eyes and looked around. She was in the bedroom downstairs and the man in front of her wasn't that evil man. It was Deacon. The man who loved her.

She began to sob.

"Oh, babe," Deacon said as he tried to slide her arms around her.

"Make it stop," she cried. "Please, just make it stop."

Deacon stood up and went back over to the dresser, coming back with another pill and the bottle of water. "Here, take this, babe. Just take this."

And finally, it all slipped away. The pain. The memories. Even Deacon. It was all gone.

* * *

 _ **Thank you to all who are reading along and for the lovely reviews...and as always, thank you to Beth Pryor for your advice. It is all so much appreciated. - RW**_


	4. Chapter 3

Deacon was sitting at the kitchen counter when Maddie came in the house.

"Hey, honey," he said, greeting her. "How did Clay's show go tonight?"

"Good," Maddie replied as she set her purse on the counter. "I can't wait for you to get to hear him. He's really great."

"I'd love to do that. I know your mom thought he was really special the night she saw him play," Deacon replied.

"How was she tonight?" Maddie asked as she pulled a glass from the cupboard.

Deacon shrugged. "About the same. She's gettin' bored of bein' in the bed, but the doctor says at least two more weeks until we can start gettin' her up and around."

"Is she asleep?" Maddie asked as she took a sip of water from her glass. "Can I go in and say good night?"

"I gave her a pill a little while ago," Deacon replied. "She was hurtin' pretty bad again tonight. But you should go take a look. I know she'd want to say good night if she's still up."

Maddie came over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Okay, and you take care of yourself, Dad. You're starting to look almost as ragged as Mom does."

A small smile crossed Deacon's face and he nodded. "I know. I'd like to say that cot is gettin' more comfortable, but it ain't."

"How about I stay with her tonight, you go up and sleep in your bed," Maddie offered. "I have the day off tomorrow, so if it's as bad as you say, I can just sleep in tomorrow."

Deacon shook his head. "I got it, honey. Your mom, she needs help with some of the personal stuff and I just don't think…"

"I can do it," Maddie replied. "You both should let us help a little bit more."

"How about another night," Deacon replied. "We can talk with your mom about it in the morning. She's...she's not sleepin' so good at night and I just think it's better to not surprise her with someone else bein' there when she wakes up."

Maddie frowned, but then nodded. "Okay, but let's talk to her tomorrow. I can help. And so can Daphne."

"Thank you, honey," Deacon replied. "Okay, go say goodnight to your mom and then you should get some sleep."

* * *

Maddie pushed open the door to her mom's room. She paused. The room was quiet.

"Maddie, is that you?" Rayna said from the bed.

"Did I wake you?" Maddie said as she walked in a few more steps.

"Not really," Rayna said as she raised the head of the hospital bed slightly. "Come here, tell me about your night."

Maddie walked over and carefully sat on the edge of the bed. "It was fun. Clay had a great set."

"He's so talented," Rayna said, her voice thick with sleep.

"He is," Maddie replied. "I don't think he really knows how good he is, he doubts himself a lot."

"Are you being careful?" Rayna asked as she reached for Maddie's hand.

"We're just friends," Maddie replied.

"I know you care about him," Rayna responded. "But he's a lot older, Maddie. I just want to make sure you're being smart."

"I am," she answered. "You don't have to worry about me."

"Good," Rayna replied, her eyes closing. "I'm sorry, baby, I'm just so groggy."

Maddie leaned forward and kissed her mom's cheek. "Go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

Deacon waited until Maddie went upstairs, then headed down to Rayna's room.

"You okay?" he asked her as he helped her adjust her position in bed.

"I just wish I could do more for them. I don't feel like I'm much of a mother, just lying here," Rayna said, sighing.

"You're getting better and that's the most important thing," Deacon replied. "You need anything before I go upstairs?"

"No," Rayna replied. "You should stay up there, get a good night's sleep. I'll be okay."

Deacon leaned down and kissed her. "I'm just gonna take a shower and then I'll be back."

"Okay," Rayna replied.

He headed into the bathroom next to her room and picked up the bottle of her painkillers. There were only two left. He made a mental note to tell the nurse in the morning, then headed upstairs for his shower.

* * *

Deacon drank his coffee while Rayna's nurse helped her get cleaned up and do some simple exercises in bed to try to keep some flexibility in the parts of her body that weren't so badly injured.

He'd finished his mug when Julie came down the hall into the kitchen.

"How's she doing this morning?" Deacon asked. He set the mug down on the counter in front of him. He asked every morning, hoping the nurse might have some more insight into what was going on with Rayna. It just felt like she wasn't getting any better.

"She's okay," the nurse replied. "I know it's hard, but it's just a long recovery."

Deacon nodded. "Hey, I noticed last night that the painkillers were almost gone. Do you refill those or do I need to call the doctor?"

Julie frowned. "That refill should have lasted until the end of the week. Have you been giving them to her more frequently?"

"A couple times," Deacon replied. "Only when she's been in a lot of pain."

"I'll talk to the doctor. Maybe we need to change her dosage. They're pretty careful with these opiates now, but it could be she's not getting as strong a prescription as she needs. These are such painful injuries."

Deacon nodded. "I know...I...uh, I've had some issues with substance abuse, so I don't want to do anything to hurt her, but she's just been in such pain."

"You're doing a good job," Julie replied. "I don't think we have anything to worry about and she's lucky to have someone looking after her so carefully."

"Thanks, Julie. I appreciate that," Deacon replied.

* * *

Deacon walked back into Rayna's room. She opened her eyes as he approached the bed. He took a seat on the chair next to her bed.

"You look serious," she said, reaching her hand out to him. He took it in his.

"Nothin' to worry you about," he replied.

"But you are," Rayna replied. "Tell me what it is."

Deacon looked at her and smiled. "I just want to take care of you, babe. Make sure you're okay."

"I'm getting better every day, Deacon. You know that," Rayna answered.

"Cause, if I was doin' anythin' that was hurtin' you, it would kill me," Deacon replied.

"What is this all about?" Rayna asked, her voice serious as she looked at him.

Deacon smiled, and leaned forward to kiss her. "Nothin' babe. You just keep gettin' better. That's all I need."

Deacon's phone buzzed in his hand as he sat watching Rayna nap after their conversation.

He stood up and walked out into the hallway.

"Hey, Zach, what's up?" he asked the Highway 65 backer.

"Deacon, hope everything is going well over there. How's Rayna doing?" Zach asked.

"She's gettin' better," Deacon replied. "But you know, it's slow."

"I know," Zach replied. "I hate to ask about this, but any chance she's going to be back in the studio soon? Maybe even just to drop a single from your album?"

Deacon sighed. "Zach, she ain't even goin' to the bathroom on her own yet. I mean, walkin' into it, I mean, no, she's still not ready." Why had he said that? Except he didn't think Zach understood just how bad Rayna was hurt.

"Yeah, I mean, I get that, but didn't you finish most of the work on _My Favorite Hurricane_?" Zach asked.

"I talked to Rayna about it. It's still really just scratch tracks and we don't think it's a single," Deacon replied. "Rayna would rather drop _You're Mine_ first. And it ain't ready and it ain't gonna be until Rayna can get back in the studio and that's two weeks minimum."

"Deacon, please understand, I wouldn't push this, but we need to put something out now, let people know that Rayna's gonna be back," Zach explained.

"And I get that, Zach," Deacon replied. "But I think you gotta realize that we're not gonna be able to do anything until Rayna is able to recover a bit more. And I'm gonna let you know when that is. So, you're just gonna have to wait."

"I hope I can," Zach replied. "But this business, Deacon, it doesn't wait."

"I hear that, Zach, but I gotta tell you, right now, I don't give a shit about the business, about Highway 65, about the album, about any of it. I care about my wife, about what's happening to her. Anything other than that, it's just not important."

Zach was quiet on the other end of the line.

"And I guess, I hope that all of the things that you told Rayna before, about how much you wanted to work with her, means that you'll be there for her while she's recovin' too," Deacon added.

"I got it, Deacon," Zach replied. "Loud and clear."

Deacon ended the call, leaned against the wall and sighed. They'd get through this. No matter what. They'd make it. Somehow.


	5. Chapter 4

_A/N - My apologies for the long delay on this chapter. I shall endeavor to be a bit quicker with the next one! Thanks as always for the reviews and follows-I am most appreciative. - RW_

* * *

Rayna woke up, looked over at the clock and sighed. It was 2 am. And she had to pee. She looked over at the camping cot where Deacon slept. She closed her eyes, trying to will herself back to sleep. Her eyes opened again. She tried to shift and pain shot across her pelvis and she gasped.

"Ray?" Deacon called over to her sleepily. He pushed back his blankets and came to the side of her bed and turned on the lamp. "You okay?"

She nodded, then slowly shook her head. "No, I'm not."

He smoothed his hand across her brow. "What do you need? Water? Something to eat?"

Rayna shook her head. "No, I mean, none of that. I mean, I have to pee, but I just...Deacon, I'm never going to get better. I just can't stand laying here anymore. I need...I need my life back."

She broke down in tears. Deacon sat down on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in his. "It's gonna be okay, babe."

She shook her head again. "No, it isn't. It's not."

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Let me get you comfortable. You need your sleep, babe. That's what's gonna help you get better."

She watched as Deacon stood up and went into the bathroom. He came back and helped her take care of her most urgent needs. He handed her a glass of water when she was done.

"You need a pill?" he asked, holding out one of her painkillers. She nodded and he handed it to her. She slipped it into her mouth and took a sip of water. He set the glass down next to her bed and sat back down, smoothing his hand down her hair. "How about we get your hair washed tomorrow. That'll help you feel better.

Rayna nodded. "Yeah, that would be good." She felt her eyes closing as the power of the pill began to wash over her and then finally, finally, she didn't care so much about it any more.

* * *

Deacon looked up from his coffee at the sound of a tap at the kitchen door. He walked over and opened the door up, ushering Scarlett into the house.

"Hey, how are you?" Scarlett asked as she wrapped her arms around her uncle in a tight hug.

"I'm hanging in there. How about you?" he asked as she took a seat on the kitchen stool next to him.

Scarlett shrugged. "I don't know. Got some stuff goin' on," she replied.

Deacon looked over his glasses at her. "You want to talk about it?"

Scarlett shrugged as she looked down at her hands, unwilling to look over at Deacon.

"Hey, you know, sometimes it's easier if you tell people what's botherin' you," Deacon said as he stood and put his arm around her shoulders. "C'mon, let's go sit on the couch and you can tell me what's goin' on."

Scarlett followed Deacon to the couch and sat next to him. "I don't want to burden you with this, you got enough goin' on here."

"You're my family and I'm yours, so spill it girl," Deacon replied as he pulled off his glasses and set them down on the table in front of him.

Scarlett looked over at him, her eyes brimming with tears. "I'm...uh, I'm pregnant."

Deacon reached over and took her hand in his. "And...is this a happy thing?"

Scarlett shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know." She reached up and brushed away the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes.

"What does Gunnar think?" Deacon asked.

Scarlett was quiet. She looked down and then back up again at her uncle. She didn't want to disappoint him, but she couldn't keep the truth from him.

"I haven't told him yet," Scarlett finally answered. "I...I'm not quite sure who the father is."

Deacon nodded slowly. "Ah," he finally said. "Well, that does make things more complicated."

Scarlett let out a quick laugh and nodded her head, the tears now dropping from her eyes. "It sure does."

"I know you'll figure out the right thing to do, but you know you gotta talk to him, don't you?" Deacon asked.

"I know," Scarlett replied, letting her voice trail off. "I just...I don't want to hurt him and honestly, I don't know what I want." She looked over at her uncle. "I'm a terrible person."

Deacon slid his arm around her. "You are not a terrible person. But you will have to have a hard conversation." He sat back, looking at her. "Talk to Rayna, maybe she'll have some words of wisdom for you."

Scarlett shook her head. "I don't want to worry her about all this stuff, not when she's workin' to take care of herself."

"Honestly, I think she'd appreciate the chance to focus on something other than herself," Deacon replied. "She's gettin' tired of being in bed, havin' nothin' to do."

Scarlett stood up and gave Deacon a kiss on his forehead. "You're a good man, Deacon Claybourne. We're all lucky to have you."

Deacon chuckled as he watched Scarlett head down the hallway toward Rayna's room. As she disappeared, he sucked in his breath and shook his head. No matter what happened, this wasn't going to be easy for Scarlett, but then again, the Claybournes rarely took the easy route anywhere.

"Dad?"

He looked over to see Maddie at the edge of the kitchen. "Hey, sweetie, you headed to work?"

Maddie nodded. "Was that Scarlett?"

"Yep," Deacon replied. "She's gonna go sit with your mama. I need to go downtown to see Zach."

Maddie crossed over to the coffeemaker and poured a cup of coffee. She set it on the counter and opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a container of half and half.

"You gonna have any coffee with the cream?" Deacon teased her as she poured it into the mug.

"I like it with my cream," Maddie said as she took as sip.

"You're too young to be drinkin' coffee," Deacon replied.

Maddie crossed and gave him a kiss on his forehead. "I don't think it's gonna stunt my growth, Dad."

Deacon smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're probably right. You gonna be home for dinner tonight? Juliette said she's sending somethin' over for us tonight."

Maddie nodded. "I'll be here, but then I need to spend some time in the studio. I want to work on that last track again with Clayton."

"How's it comin' along?" Deacon asked.

Maddie shrugged. "It's still not quite right, but it's getting there."

Deacon slid his arm around his daughter. "You'll get it. Let me know if you need anything."

Maddie nodded. "Okay, I gotta run. Catch you later."

* * *

Scarlett tapped on the door to Rayna's room. "Rayna, you awake?" she asked as she pushed the door open slowly.

"Hey, girl, c'mon in here," Rayna said as she shifted in her bed. As she moved, she groaned.

Scarlett crossed to her bed. "Can I help you?" She stopped short of the bed, not sure what she could do to help Rayna that wouldn't make her hurt more.

Rayna shook her head. "I'm fine, just sit here and tell me what's going on out in the world."

Scarlett pulled a chair up next to Rayna's bed, feeling slightly relieved.

"So, what's going on? You getting ready for the tour?" Rayna asked.

Scarlett sighed. The tour. Honestly, it was the last thing on her mind.

"What's the matter?" Rayna asked after Scarlett didn't respond.

"I don't want to bother you," Scarlett started, knitting her hands together, nervously.

"Is this about...the director, what's his name?" Rayna asked. "Sorry, the drugs make me a little foggy."

Scarlett shook her head, then nodded slowly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh, honey, what's the matter?" Rayna asked. "It's probably better if you just say it."

Scarlett's head dropped, then she looked up at Rayna, the tears falling freely now. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh, honey," Rayna said as she held her hand out to Scarlett. Scarlett slid forward on her chair and took Rayna's hand in hers. "And?"

Scarlett shrugged. "I don't know. And I haven't told Gunnar and Damien is gone and I don't know what to do."

Rayna tightened her grip on Scarlett's hand. "Have you been to the doctor? How is the baby?"

A small smile crept across Scarlett's face. "I went yesterday. They can't tell anything yet, cause it's still real early, but they said everything looks good."

"Well, that's a good thing and you...how are you feeling about it?" Rayna asked.

Scarlett's smile broadened a bit. "Excited. Scared."

"I'm not surprised," Rayna replied. "It is an exciting thing to be happening and it's okay to be scared. But, honey, you have to talk to them. Both of them. Tell them what's going on. They might surprise you."

Scarlett chuckled as she brushed her tears away. "I'm sure they will."

"It was different for me, you know, but I understand how hard this can be, the not knowing, maybe being afraid of finding out the truth," Rayna said quietly. "And maybe that doesn't make sense to you now."

"You wish you'da told Deacon sooner?" Scarlett asked. It was one of the first things she'd thought about when she saw the positive result on the pregnancy test and realized she wasn't sure who she'd been with when it had happened.

Rayna sighed. "Yes. No. It...it was very different than what's going on in your life. I know you were really little, but Deacon was a mess then. I just didn't think I had a choice. But you, you have a choice, Scarlett. This isn't the same situation."

Scarlett nodded. "I know. I know you did what you thought was best for Maddie."

Rayna was quiet for a moment. "But I wish I'd been able to do it different, that Deacon had known her when she was little, that she was his. I do regret that, but I've had to let that go and so has Deacon. We had to work real hard to get past it."

Scarlett was quiet.

"What's going on in your head? In your heart?" Rayna asked.

Scarlett shook her head. "I don't know. I love Gunnar. But, being with Damien, it was different. Gunnar has always been this safe place for me. And part of me is afraid of losing that. But I'm also afraid that being afraid is keepin' me from really bein' alive."

"And Damien makes you feel alive?" Rayna asked.

"I guess," Scarlett replied. "But I'm not sure that's what I want in the long term."

There was a tap at the door and Deacon stepped in the room. "Hey, I don't want to interrupt, but the nurse is here. And she's got an idea about how to get your hair washed."

Rayna sighed. "Wonderful."

Scarlett stood up. "I should get goin'. I've got a list a mile long before we head out for the tour."

"You'll know what to do," Rayna told her. "Trust your heart. It won't steer you wrong."

Scarlett leaned in and hugged Rayna. "Thank you."

* * *

Deacon pulled out of the gate and turned his truck toward downtown. As he headed out of Belle Meade, he heard sirens approaching. His phone signalled a text message. Then another. Then a call came in. He pulled over and looked down at the phone.

 _Come home asap._

The message was from Rayna's nurse. He pressed the button to unlock his phone as the ambulance screamed past him, its lights flashing. He looked at the message again, dropped the phone and turned the truck around, following the ambulance back to his house.

 **TBC**


	6. Chapter 5

_**Thank you all for being SO patient and to everyone who encouraged me to keep working on this. - RW**_

* * *

"What happened?" Deacon shouted the woman sitting next to him in the truck. He looked back at the flashing lights of the ambulance in front of them as they raced down the street back to the hospital.

"I'm not even sure," the woman began. "We were going to wash her hair. And I was shifting her and...she fell."

"What do you mean 'she fell'?" Deacon asked. "How could she fall? She hasn't been out of bed for...for almost two months."

"She said she needed to have her hair shampooed and…" the woman began.

Deacon turned his head back forward and concentrated on the road in front of him.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Claybourne. It's my first day and…"

Deacon shot a look at her. "It's your what?" He shook his head. How could this have happened? How had he not noticed she was a new nurse. He had been so distracted trying to get out of the house, trying to get down to the office, to talk to Zach, to calm him down…

His phone buzzed. He looked at it, then the yellow light in front of him and pressed the gas to stay behind the ambulance. He wasn't losing her this time.

Deacon looked down at his phone as it buzzed again with another text from Zach. He dismissed the screen and stood up and walked to the end of the waiting room. It was full of people waiting for admission to the ER. He'd tried to follow Rayna back into the treatment room, but they'd pushed him back, made him wait.

* * *

The nurse from the home healthcare agency had disappeared shortly after he sat down. He should have followed her, should have gotten her name...none of it mattered now, anyway.

"Deacon Claybourne?"

Deacon looked up at the sound of his voice to see a nurse at the waiting room door. She gestured and he followed her back toward the treatment rooms.

"We've got her stabilized and the orthopedic doctor will be down in a few minutes," the nurse explained as they approached the room where Rayna was being treated.

Deacon looked down the hallway at the curtained room. He heard Rayna call out. Why had he left her? And why was this happening now, just when it seemed like everything was finally getting better?

"You'll have to wait for the doctor," the nurse explained. "But, you can wait with your wife until she comes." She pulled back the curtain and gestured for Deacon to go in to the room.

"Oh god," Rayna called out. Deacon crossed to her and took her hand.

"Ray, I'm sorry," Deacon started. He looked down at her, her face was pale and creased with pain.

"Hurts," Rayna replied, panting slightly. Deacon looked back at the nurse checking the IV running into Rayna's arm.

"Can you give her something?" he asked. "Does she need to be in this much pain?"

"We've given her all we can right now," the nurse replied. "The doctor will be down in a few minutes and she might have other options."

"Babe," Rayna hissed out, tightening her hand around Deacon's. "Hurts."

Deacon looked down at her and felt a cold wave wash over him. Even when she was first injured, he'd never seen her like this.

"Can you go check on how much longer?" Deacon asked. "She can't stay like this."

The nurse nodded and turned to leave the room.

"Please," Deacon started. "Please tell her to hurry."

* * *

The doctor walked back out into the hallway where Deacon waited while she examined Rayna.

"How is she?" Deacon asked.

Doctor Reynolds put her arm on his. "I need to wait on the x-rays to come back, but I'm worried that the initial break has reopened."

"What does that mean?" Deacon asked, his face creased with worry. "More surgery?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, most likely. We'll need to go in, do another repair, possibly add an external fixation device this time."

Deacon's face sank. "And the recovery?"

"It's going to set her back," the doctor replied. "I'm really sorry, Deacon."

Deacon shook his head. "I shouldn't have left her. Hell, I shouldn't have tried to have her at home. I thought…"

The doctor reached over to him again. "You can't blame yourself, you did the best you could. This...this was an accident."

Deacon rubbed his hand over his face. "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded. "She's pretty groggy. We had to give her some pretty strong drugs to deal with the pain. But you can go in until we take her up to surgery."

The doctor headed down the hallway, talking to one of the nurses from the emergency room. Deacon took a deep breath and walked into the treatment room where Rayna lay.

She was in the bed, her eyes closed, an oxygen mask over her face. She looked pale, more pale than he had ever seen her and so fragile. He hated seeing her this way, broken, anxious, so different than the Rayna he'd known his whole life. She'd always been his rock and now he needed to be hers.

He took her hand in his and closed his fingers gently around hers.

"I love you, Ray. We're gonna get through this. I'm gonna get you through this."

* * *

Scarlett walked down the hallway with Maddie and Daphne trailing behind her. She turned the corner and found Deacon in the corner of the surgical waiting room, his eyes closed.

"How 'bout we let him sleep?" she said quietly to the girls.

"I want to know how Mom is," Daphne replied, her voice just above a whisper.

Scarlett looked across the hall at the nurse's station. "Let me go check with the nurse, if she can't tell us, then we'll get him up."

She crossed over and got a short update from the nurse on duty and returned to the girls. She gestured for them to come sit near her, across the room from where Deacon slept.

"She's up in surgery. Like Deacon said when he called, she fell and it caused the fracture to reopen. They're fixing it and the nurse said it'll probably take a few more hours."

Maddie nodded. "I think we should call Aunt Tandy and let her know."

"I'll do it," Daphne said as she stood up and walked toward the hallway.

Scarlett sat back in the chair and looked over at Maddie. "She doin' okay?"

Maddie shrugged. "I don't know. She doesn't say much."

Scarlett leaned over and took Maddie's hand. "You doin' okay?"

Maddie shrugged again, her eyes filling with tears. "I don't know. I mean, I know it could be worse, but it's almost like she died in that accident. It's like she's gone."

"She ain't gone," Deacon said quietly from the other side of the room, his eyes still closed. He opened them and sat up, leaning forward, his elbows down on his knees. He looked over at his niece and daughter. "She's still here, and we just gotta make sure she knows that."

Scarlett tightened her hand around Maddie's and reached with her other hand to stroke the her cousinl's hair. "It's all gonna be okay."

Deacon stood up and walked over to them. "Where's Daphne?" he asked. "She come with you?"

Maddie nodded. "She went to call Aunt Tandy. We got an update from the nurse while you were resting."

Deacon looked toward the door. "They have any more information?"

Scarlett shook her head. "No, she's still in surgery. They said for a few more hours."

Deacon looked down at his boots, then back up at them. "I'm gonna go find your sister, okay?"

Maddie nodded and watched as Deacon headed down the hall in search of Daphne.

"I'm worried about him, too," Maddie said after he left. "He isn't taking care of himself, not sleeping, not eating right. And I think Zach is putting a lot of pressure on him about the label."

Scarlett looked over at her cousin, Maddie's face drawn. "It's been hard on all of you. But you're right, we gotta keep an extra close eye on your dad."

Maddie leaned forward, her head resting on her hand. Scarlett smoothed her hand up and down the Maddie's back. When would this end, she thought. It just felt like for the longest time that they'd all been on merry go round of trauma and tragedy. It was time for all of them to catch a break.

Deacon walked toward the end of the hall where he could see Daphne was on the phone. He waited a few feet away until she ended her call and turned back toward him.

"Hey, sweetie," he said as he held his arm out to her. "You talk to your Aunt Tandy?"

Daphne nodded. "She's coming tomorrow. She said we don't need to pick her up or anything."

She didn't move closer to him. He didn't want to feel hurt, but he'd felt this wall between them growing again since Rayna's accident. But he knew Daphne well enough to not push her.

"You doin' okay?" he asked her as he leaned against the wall. "You hungry? We probably have enough time to go get something to eat before the surgery is over."

Daphne shook her head. "I don't want to leave her."

"Okay," Deacon replied. "Well, should we go back and wait with Maddie and Scarlett."

Daphne paused, then nodded and turned to follow Deacon back to the waiting room. As they walked, he slid his arm around her. She didn't move closer, but she didn't move away. He would take that as some progress.

* * *

Deacon looked up as the doctor walked into the waiting room, still in her scrubs, her mask hanging down around her neck.

"Deacon," she said as she crossed to where he sat with the girls and Scarlett. "Surgery went well."

Deacon nodded, relief washing through his body.

"She's still in recovery, but we're going to move her up to ICU in a bit. I'll let you know when she's settled."

"And she's...she's okay?" Deacon asked, his voice breaking.

The doctor sat down next to him. "She is. She's tough. But her recovery, well, it's going to basically have to start over."

Deacon nodded. "Okay, what does that mean?"

The doctor shrugged. "We'll have to wait and see how it goes, but this was a setback for sure."

"But she's going to get better, right?" Daphne asked, her voice quiet.

"If everything goes like we expect, she should be just fine," the doctor replied.

"What does that mean?" Maddie asked. "If everything goes as expected?" She reached over and took Daphne's hand.

"As you know from before, after the accident, we have to watch for any complications and we're going to have to be a little more conservative with her recovery, but right now, let's get her moved upstairs and you can all go in and see her for a minute." She stood up. "I'll be back in the morning, and then, Deacon, we should talk."

Deacon nodded. When would Rayna catch a break? When would any of them?

TBC


	7. Chapter 6

**Three months later**

Deacon pulled the truck into the driveway and put it in park. He looked over at Rayna and smiled. "God, it's good to have you back here, babe."

Rayna smiled and leaned over to kiss him. As she sat back, she smiled again. "God, I've missed being here, being with our family...it's so good to be home."

Deacon got out of the truck and went around to help Rayna from the passenger's seat. She stood next to the truck her hand resting lightly on the side while he pushed her seat forward and reached for her bag.

"Babe?" she said, her hand reaching out to him. He nodded and reached into the back seat again pulling out her cane. He handed it to her and she turned and slowly started walking to the kitchen door. Deacon stood watching her make her way to the house. After a moment, he reached again for her bag, closed the door and locked the truck. He pulled in a deep breath and headed for the house.

They had survived. They would survive.

* * *

"Hey, careful there," Deacon said as he walked in. Rayna was standing in the middle of the kitchen, her cane dropped to the floor, her arms around Maddie and Daphne. "It ain't like you didn't just see your mama yesterday."

Daphne looked at him and laughed. "But she's home, Dad. I mean, she's home!"

Rayna, turned slightly to smile at him, then grimaced slightly. Deacon crossed to her and picked the cane up from the floor.

"Okay, you go sit on the couch and I'll make you some tea," Deacon instructed as he set Rayna's bag down. "Maddie, help your mom."

Maddie held Rayna's arm as they slowed walked over to the living room area.

"Rayna, no, not on the couch, sorry," Deacon said as he watched. "Sit in that firm chair I brought in, provides you more support."

Rayna stopped, looking at the new wing chair next to the sofa. "But I want to sit with my girls."

"Just sit in the chair, Ray," Deacon replied. "You'll be able to get up from that sofa before too long, but you know you can't do that now."

Rayna nodded and sat down in the chair. Maddie gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"So, what do you have on your schedule today?" Rayna asked her daughters.

"I was going to go listen to some of my new tracks with Bucky," Maddie replied. "But I"m gonna wait until next week."

"And you, Miss Daphne?" Rayna replied, turning to smile at her younger daughter.

Daphne shrugged. "I just wanna hang out here with your."

Deacon walked in from the kitchen and handed Rayna a cup of hot tea.

"Thanks, Babe," she replied as she took the cup. She took a quick sip and smiled. "So much better than the stuff they had at the rehab facility. Okay, I know y'all have lives and honestly, I'm just gonna go take a nap, so you all need to go do what you were gonna do and I'm gonna go up to my room, change into some comfy clothes and lay down. Dinner tonight?"

"Sounds good," Deacon replied. "Girls?"

Maddie and Daphne both nodded.

The girls gave Rayna a kiss and she sat for a moment, then gestured Deacon to come over. "Okay, you're gonna have to help me out of this chair, too, babe."

He helped her slowly stand up and then they headed toward the hall. Deacon pulled open the door where the pantry used to be.

"You really didn't need to put in an elevator," Rayna said as they stood in front of the small lift.

"Well, you sleepin' downstairs didn't work too well last time and I figure even after you get better, we're gonna get old some day and we might appreciate havin' it," Deacon replied.

Rayna stepped into the elevator. "There is room for two, isn't there?"

Deacon nodded and stepped in behind her. "Kind of reminds me of another elevator I was in with you once," he said as he ran his hand down the side of her face. He leaned in and gently kissed her. She pressed back against him, then called out.

"Ray?" he asked as he stepped back from her in the small space. "You okay? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "No...it's just...it's been a long day. Did you bring my pills up?"

The door to the elevator opened up and Deacon stepped out. "No, I forgot them downstairs. Let me get you settled and then I'll go get them."

He helped Rayna to their room and into bed. He kissed her again. "I'll be right back, babe."

Rayna watched as he left the room, pulled a bottle from her pocket, tapped out two pills and dry swallowed them, then slid the bottle back into her pocket. She sighed and lay back against the pillows as a bit of relief began to wash over her.

* * *

Deacon looked up from the computer in the music room to see Maddie standing at the door. He pulled his glasses off and set them on the desk next to the keyboard.

"Hey, honey. How do the tracks sound? You ready to let Mom and I have a listen?" he asked.

Maddie shrugged. "I'm not sure. Actually, Juliette was there and she had some ideas, but I don't know."

Deacon turned to face her, resting his elbows on his knees. "Well, you have to trust your instincts, but it's not a terrible idea to get folks' input. Juliette's made a lot of good music over the years. But at the end of the day, it's your song."

Maddie nodded. "Is mom awake? Are we having dinner soon? I'm supposed to go meet some people to listen to this new band."

Deacon shook his head. "She's still asleep. I just haven't had the heart to wake her up. And Daphne called a little bit ago and her friends want to have a sleepover. I told her to go. You want me to heat something up for you? I think we still have some of that casserole that Pam brought over last week."

"I'll get something on the way," Maddie replied. "I'm gonna go upstairs and change and check on Mom."

"Sounds good," Deacon replied. "And Maddie…"

She stopped at the door and turned back.

"Remember, it's your music-it came from you. You can trust that."

"Thanks, Dad," Maddie replied.

Deacon reached over for the headphones and slipped them on. Rayna's voice, even just on a scratch track, seemed to fill the room.

 _I know the rain may fall  
_ _And the clouds roll in  
_ _Until we think we won't  
_ _See the sky again  
_ _With you right here  
_ _Your hand in mine  
_ _I know these storms will pass  
_ _And the sun will shine  
_ _And through the good times  
_ _And the bad times  
_ _You're mine_

He pressed a second button and filled his track in with hers. It wasn't a professional cut, but he was planning to have Avery come listen to it to see if they could make it work.

His phone buzzed and he looked over at it. Another text from Zach. He was relentless.

 _Heard Rayna got home. Any chance she's ready to record?_

Deacon sighed and ignored the phone. It buzzed again.

 _We need to release. We're missing the deadline for the Grammy's. Great chance for R's comeback._

He ignored it again. Rayna's comeback. Maybe next year for the CMA's, but there was no way they were going to the Grammy's let alone performing. She'd barely made it down the hallway to their bedroom and had been asleep for five hours. He looked at his phone again. Five hours-he'd better wake her up to take more medication. The doctor had warned him that it was important that she managed her pain, but also that she not let it go too long without the painkillers. Of all the problems with the second procedure, the pain had been the worse, relentless and at times it felt like it might steal Rayna away from him all over again.

He stood up and stretched. But she'd seemed much better lately. She was getting better.

* * *

Deacon stopped at the door. It was dark in their room, he crossed over and sat on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Ray?" he said quietly, trying to wake her gently. "Babe, I've got a little something for you to eat and your pills, okay?"

Rayna nodded, and opened her eyes slowly.

"Can I turn on the light?" Deacon asked.

She nodded again. He reached over and turned the light on her bedside stand on. "Here, babe, eat a little bit of this."

He handed her the chicken salad sandwich that she loved. She took a couple bites and handed it back to him. He handed her the pills and a glass of water. She took the pills and then a sip of the water to wash them down.

"You doing okay?" Deacon asked. "You need to get up?"

Rayna shook her head and leaned back again the pillow. "Sorry, babe, I'm just rung out. Didn't think riding in a car across town would do me in, like this."

Deacon leaned in and kissed her. "Just get some sleep, babe. You're still recoverin'. That takes time-we both know that."

He sat for a moment, watching as she drifted off again. Once she was asleep, he stood up and turned to head back downstairs. He'd have to call Zach and tell him it was going to take longer. And Zach was not going to be happy.

* * *

Rayna looked over at the clock. The room was dark again. She sighed, moved slightly and then let out a quiet moan as the pain from her hip region washed over her whole body. She reached for the bottle of pills in her pocket, slipped two more in her mouth and then let it all go away.

TBC


	8. Chapter 7

_**Sorry for the delay on this story! Thank you to everyone who is still following along and especially for the reviews. I deeply appreciate them!**_

* * *

The decision to stay at the rehab facility had not been an easy one.

"It's a nursing home," Rayna said when Deacon first broached the topic with her.

"It's skilled care and you'll have your physical therapy while you're there," Deacon replied.

"I'm not going to a nursing home," Rayna replied. "Why can't I come home? We were doing fine."

Deacon looked at her and shook his head. "We were not doing fine, babe. And that's how you got hurt. We just...you need nurses and doctors to be there, to help make sure you get better and stay better."

Rayna turned her head from him. He crossed the hospital room and sat down on the bed next to her. "Babe, I'll be there every day, and the girls will too."

"You should send Daphne to camp," Rayna said, finally turning back to look at him. "And Maddie...let her go on Juliette's tour like she's been asking to do."

"You sure?" Deacon asked.

Rayna nodded. "And when they get home, I'll be there, too."

So, that's what they did. Daphne went to camp. Maddie went on tour, with Bucky at her side. Rayna focused on rehab and Deacon...Deacon tried to hold it all together. Rayna, the girls, Highway 65...everything.

* * *

Deacon pulled through the gates outside the rehab center and put his truck into park. His phone buzzed again and he looked down.

 _Just ask Rayna._

Another text from Zach. He scrolled up, noting that there were five unanswered texts now, all asking the same basic thing-when could he get Rayna in the studio to finish their album.

The phone vibrated again. This time it was Zach calling. He considered dismissing the call, but sighed and answered.

"Yeah, Zach," he said, his voice low and tired.

"Deacon, did you get my text?" the entrepreneur asked, his voice pitched and harried sounding.

"I did, Zach. I got all of 'em," Deacon replied.

"And? What's the deal? We have got to move on this," Zach shot back. "You said yourself she'd doing better, so can't we spring her out of there for a day and get this thing done?"

"To what end, Zach?" Deacon asked. "She ain't gonna be able to tour for months, so why drop the album now."

"Because we're hemorrhaging money," Zach answered. "This tour for Juliette is great and all, but with these deals that Rayna signed, she's the one making all of the money. And now that an album from Gunnar and Scarlett is looking less and less likely…"

Deacon sighed again. He should have called Scarlett before he came over. She'd called him in a panic the night she lost the baby, but after she left the hospital, she'd moved back to his house. She wasn't reaching out to him and seemed to be finished with Gunnar once and for all.

"Deacon, we need to get this thing done."

Deacon closed his eyes and raised his free hand to massage the headache that throbbed at his temples. He reached over to the glove compartment and pulled out the small bottle of Tylenol, shook it and realized it was empty. He sighed again, shoved it back into the glove compartment and slammed it shut.

"Well, great," he said, to no one. He opened the door, got out of the truck, pushed it closed with more effort than necessary and clicked the button on his keychain to lock the door. As the car beeped to signal the door was locked, he heard a woman behind him.

"Rough day?"

He turned back to see a younger blonde woman standing near the back of his car. She looked vaguely familiar.

"Do I? Do I know you?" he asked. Some days he worried it was the drugs he took to keep his liver healthy, his brain seemed so much like mush or maybe it was just getting older...but he'd asked at his last appointment and his doctor had pointed out he wasn't getting enough sleep, he was way too stressed out and he wasn't eating nearly as healthy as a man should who was living on borrowed time and his sister's liver.

"Deacon, right?" she said as she walked up. "Jessie Caine. I, uh...I was in one of your Writers in the Round nights a few years ago."

Deacon nodded. That's why she looked familiar. But there was something else...bad divorce, something with her kid…"

"Yeah, I, uh, just moved back." She smiled at him. "I was sorry to hear about Rayna's accident. How's she doing?"

Deacon shrugged. "Gettin' better, I guess. Actually, I gotta get in there. But it's good to see you, Jessie." He turned and started walking toward the building, then turned back and gave her a half wave. She smiled and he turned toward the entrance.

* * *

Deacon paused outside of the door to Rayna's room. She had been so down when he'd left her yesterday. He hated being apart, but he also wanted her to have the best chance of getting better. He wanted to keep her safe.

He tapped on the door and walked in. Rayna was sitting in her wheelchair near the window.

"You watching out for me?" he asked as he came over and kissed her. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. She looked over at him.

"Who was that in the parking lot?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"Who?" Deacon asked.

"The woman, the one you were talking to," she replied.

"Uh, Jessie Caine. You remember her, she was married to Brad Maitland," Deacon replied.

"Do you know her?" Rayna asked.

Deacon shot her a look. "Are you curious or jealous?"

"I guess I was just wondering why my husband was hanging out in the parking lot talking to some woman," Rayna replied. Her voice was clipped and her tone abrupt.

Deacon reached out and took her hand. "Ray, I just said hello. It wasn't a big deal. You...you feelin' okay, babe?"

Rayna pulled her hand back. "I'm just...I guess I'm just tired and maybe not feeling like the most desirable person, sitting here in a wheelchair in a nursing home. If I was a horse, you'd a shot me by now."

Deacon reached back over and took both of her hands in his. "Babe, I don't think that. I love you, no matter what and I'm never going to put you out of your misery-heavens knows, you never woulda done it to me." He leaned in and kissed her.

She looked back at him with dark eyes, then a smile slowly moved over her face. "I love you, too babe. Sorry I'm such a bear. I'm just not feeling much like myself these days."

Deacon knew how she felt-it had been the same way after his transplant, nobody liked having to rely on other people for all the basic stuff.

"Hey," he said as he looked over at her and a smile slid across his face. "You remember that first day when I got home from the hospital?"

Rayna nodded, a smile also slowly crossing her face. "You weren't the easiest patient."

" _Deacon, what are you trying to do?" she asked as she walked into their bedroom. "I thought you came up here to take a nap."_

 _Deacon looked up from where he sat on the edge of their bed. "And I'm done with my nap. I'm tryin' to get my boots on."_

 _Rayna looked over at the boots, just beyond Deacon's reach. "And you haven't put them on for what reason?"_

 _Deacon looked up at her, a frown on his face. "Maybe cause I can't bend over to reach the damned things."_

 _Rayna moved over and sat down next to him on the bed. She slid her arm around his back. "It's not going to be like this forever, babe. You just got home from the hospital. It's gonna take you a little while to get back to normal. Now, about these boots…"_

 _She knelt down next to him, picked up his boot and slid it on to his right foot. "So, where were you going?" she asked him as she reached for and slid the left boot on his other foot._

 _He looked over at her and shrugged. "Couldn't get my boots on, not real sure I can stand up to be honest."_

 _She slid her arm back around him and pulled him close. "Can you let me take care of your for a while?"_

" _Like you been my whole life?" he said. "I mean, it, Ray, I've been a mess our whole lives together. I want to be takin' care of you."_

 _She leaned in and kissed him. "You will take care of me, Deacon. You'll have lots of chances to take care of me."_

"And you were right, I would have a chance to take care of you," Deacon said as he kissed her.

"What did you say?" she asked. "I don't think I heard you."

He smiled and kissed her again. "You were right, Babe. You're always right."

"Huh, I don't think I heard that?" she said again, now her voice more teasing.

Deacon leaned in to kiss her again, pulling her as close to him as he could manage. She reached for him, then gasped and pulled back.

"Ray?" he said, his voice thickened with concern. "You need me to get the nurse?"

She shook her head, then nodded.

He stood up from his chair and quickly smoothed his hand over her hair. "I'll be right back, babe."

Deacon walked out, heading toward the nurses' station. Rayna watched, then slipped a pill from her pocket and swallowed it dry.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, she'd make it longer.

* * *

As the noise in the hallway outside her room slowly dissipated, Rayna set aside her book and turned off the light. She'd been here for a month. With any luck she'd be home in a few weeks, but beyond the luck of not being dead from the accident, luck didn't seem on her side much at all.

The doctor seemed surprised that she was still having so much pain. He told her the surgery was a success, that they'd repaired all of the damage from her fall, but it hurt all the time, no matter what.

The only one who believed her was the nurse's assistant who worked the afternoon shift. He understood her pain. He made sure she had what she needed. He'd come in the first day after they got her settled.

"Ms. Jaymes, you doin' okay?" he'd asked as he checked her vital signs.

"I guess," she replied, looking over at the man with dark hair in scrubs.

"How's your pain?" he asked.

"Honestly?" she replied, wondering if anyone really understood what this felt like.

"Of course," he replied. "On a scale of one to ten?"

"Can I say twelve?" she asked as he tightened the blood pressure cuff on her arm.

He released the pressure, pulled his stethoscope from his ears and noted something on her chart. "That sounds pretty bad. Can I get you something for that?"

"Uh, yeah," Rayna answered. "They brought me something a little bit ago, but it just isn't helping."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of pills. He tapped out two and handed them to her. "I don't think anyone should have to be in this much pain."

She looked at the pills and then at him. He nodded and she took the pills, washing them down with the cup of water sitting on her bedside table. He handed her the bottle.

"Why don't you just hang on to that," he said. "That way, if the pain comes back, you can get ahead of it."

She looked at him. This didn't feel right. All of the other staff and the nurses at the hospital had regulated any medication much more closely.

"I don't think…" Rayna started as she handed the bottle back to him.

"Okay," the nurse replied. "But my name is Steve. I usually work 3-11. You let me know if you change your mind."

And the next day, she did. And the day after that. And the day after that.

TBC


	9. Chapter 8

_**First of all, I'm so sorry it's taken me SO long to update...to all who have been following along, thank you for your patience. - RW**_

* * *

Deacon was just about to set his book down when his phone buzzed. He looked over at Rayna, asleep in bed next to him, picked up the phone and answered it.

"Hey, Scarlett," he started. "What...slow down, honey. What's going on?"

He listened, her voice panicked as she told him about the pain, the blood on her sheets.

"I'm on my way," he replied, then ended the call.

"Ray?" he said as he touched Rayna's shoulder.

"Huh?" she said, sleepily. She turned her head toward him and moaned. "What, Deacon?"

"Babe, I gotta get over to Scarlett...it's...it's the baby, something's wrong."

Rayna's eyes opened. "Let me come with you."

"No, you stay here, I...I'll call you, let you know what's happening," he replied. "I'm gonna let Daphne know I'm leaving, okay?"

Rayna nodded. "Tell her I'm praying for her."

Deacon leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I will, babe."

* * *

Deacon drove as quickly as he dared across the city, willing the lights to keep changing in his favor. Rayna and the girls meant everything to him and Scarlett...well, most days, he thought of her more as a daughter than a niece, especially since Beverly had died. They just had each other and now she was in trouble.

He pulled the truck to a stop in front of his East Nashville house and jumped from the door, leaving the engine running. He quickly made his way into the house where he found her, in the bathroom, where there was more blood. Without words, he picked her up and carried her down to the truck, knowing, as Scarlett did, just how serious this could be.

* * *

His phone rang after they got to the hospital, after the doctor had given them the news that the baby had not survived. He looked down. It was Rayna. He sighed. He should have called her, she would have been worrying.

"I'm sorry, babe, I meant to call you, but I just now got back out in the waiting room."

"Deacon, did you...Daphne's been looking for my prescription and it isn't in the kitchen or the bathroom. Did you? You didn't take it with you, did you?" Rayna asked, her voice agitated.

"Did she look in my dressing room?" Deacon replied, trying to imagine where he might have put the bottle. He kept track of it, pretty closely, knowing that she relied on him to keep to her schedule. "But you're not due again for…." He looked over at the clock on the wall. It was nearly 6 am. "Babe, you're due at 8 am. I should be home by then."

"Deacon, I...I had an awful night, I just…"

"Have her look again in my dressing room, by my shaving kit," Deacon responded.

He heard her directing Daphne.

"She found them. Thanks, babe."

He'd hung up before he realized she hadn't asked about Scarlett or the baby. She hadn't seemed to even realize why he wasn't home. He felt a wave of dread wash over him. He recognized this behavior. He knew Rayna was still recovering, that she was in pain, that her anxiety was crippling at times, but he also knew what this single mindedness meant and it was all too familiar.

It's how he felt when he needed a fix.

* * *

Deacon pulled up in front of the garage and let out a heavy sigh as he put the truck in park and cut the engine. Scarlett had sent him home, telling him that Gunnar would wait until she was ready to be released and then drive her back to the house in East Nashville. He had tried to get her to come stay with them, but she said she needed to be alone for a bit. This baby, unplanned and unexpected had been deeply loved by her, by Gunnar, by all of them. She had been the one bright spot in the past few months and in just a few short hours was gone.

Deacon eased himself from the truck and walked up to the house, dreading going inside. He would have to tell Rayna and the girls about the baby but even harder, he had to confront Rayna about what he suspected. He hated thinking for a moment that she had been seized by the darkness that had held his life captive for so many years...maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought, but he was afraid for her. Afraid for all of them.

He opened the door and walked into the kitchen, turning on the light. Other than an uncharacteristic pile of dirty dishes next to the sink, nothing seemed terribly out of place. He set his jacket on the stool in front of the kitchen counter and headed upstairs. Halfway up, he started bargaining with himself.

There was no need to wake Rayna up if she was asleep.

Please let her be asleep. Let them just have this one last night, before...before their whole world had to change.

The hallway was quiet. Daphne's door was closed with no light showing underneath it. He could hear music playing softly from Maddie's room. The door to the master bedroom was mostly closed, the room dark.

He pushed the door open, the light from the hallway casting across the bed where Rayna lay. He crossed the room and headed into the bathroom to get ready to join her. As he stood in front of the mirror, he scrubbed his hand across his face. He looked over at Rayna's dressing table. What had happened there?

He crossed over to where her carefully laid out bottles and potions-all the things necessary to keep her skin soft and youthful-were strewn across the table. A prescription bottle was on its side. He picked it up. It was empty. He looked at the label. It was the bottle he'd picked up earlier that week. The one that was supposed to last a month.

He picked up the bottle and stalked into their bedroom, turning the light on next to Rayna's bed.

"Rayna!" he shouted as he leaned down and shook her shoulder. "C'mon, Ray, wake up."

Her face was slack. Her eyes closed.

"Rayna!" he called again, this time sitting down next to her and shaking her more intensely.

"Dad!"

He looked over to the door to see Maddie standing there.

"Come help me," he called to Maddie. "We have to get her up."

Maddie crossed to the bed and put her hand under Rayna's shoulder, as they stood her up. Rayna's head lolled forward, her eyes starting to open.

"Dad! Maddie!" Daphne stood at the door now, her eyes wide open with alarm.

"Go turn on the shower," Deacon instructed Daphne. She ran into the room, crossing into the bathroom and turning the shower on full blast.

"Daph, cold water," Deacon instructed as he and Maddie half carried, half dragged Rayna into the bathroom. He put his arm around Rayna's waist, her arm over his shoulder and pulled her into the shower with him, the cold water pounding down over their bodies.

"Whaaa!" Rayna uttered as the cold water snapped her from her stupor. Deacon stayed under the shower with her as she sputtered and gasped. He knew he should pull her out, but he needed the cover of the water, he didn't want the girls to know he was crying.

Finally, he reached over and turns the cold water off. "Maddie, get me a towel, please."

His arms wrapped around Rayna as he eased her over to the edge of the bathtub and sat her down. He took the towel from Maddie and began to dry Rayna off.

He paused and looked over at the girls. "Go back to your rooms. Let me...let me take care of this."

"Do you...should we call somebody?" Maddie asked, her face creased with worry.

Deacon shook his head. "No, she's...just, please go. I'll...I'll...we'll talk about it in the morning. Just, please go to bed."

Maddie slipped her arm around Daphne's waist and leaned in to whisper something to her younger sister. Deacon watched them leave, then turned back to his wife.

"Rayna. What the hell did you do?"

She looked up at him, then folded forward, vomiting down the towel he'd wrapped her in just a few minutes earlier.

Deacon sighed, then headed to get more towels to start to clean her up.

After a second shower, this one with warm water, he led her back into their bedroom, helping her into bed.

"Deacon…" she moaned, then tried to sit up.

"We'll talk about it in the morning, Ray," he replied. When you're sober, he thought to himself. He watched as she drifted off, this time her breathing regular, not the drugged, labored breaths she'd been taking when he first came in the room. His clothes had dried against his body. He considered changing, then realized he needed to check on the girls. He got up, sighed and walked out into the hall.

Both girls sat on the floor outside the master bedroom door.

"What are you doing here? You should have gone to bed," Deacon said, his voice low.

"What's wrong with her?" Maddie asked.

Daphne snuffed, tears running down her face. "Did I give her too many pills?"

Deacon sighed and slid down the wall to sit next to them. "How many did you give her?"

"Two," Daphne replied.

Deacon slid his arm around her shoulders. "That's exactly how many she should have had. How many were in the bottle?"

"Like 10?" Daphne replied.

Deacon closed his eyes and sighed. He scrubbed his hand across his face and pulled Daphne closer to him. Ten pills. That meant she had taken a lot tonight, but it also meant she'd been doing it for a while.

"I think...I think your mom is in trouble."

"What do you mean?" Maddie asked, her voice low, her brow furrowed.

"Your mom is taking way more medication than the doctors are prescribing," Deacon explained. "I don't think she meant to do it, but I think she's developing a problem."

"Like an addiction?" Maddie asked. "Is this what happened…" her voice trailed off.

Deacon reached across Daphne to take Maddie's hand. "No, it's not the same as me. Your mom, she got hurt and now she's got another kind of illness. And she's a strong person...I...I was weak, again and again."

"But you're strong now," Daphne said, her voice choking with tears. "Right?"

"I am," Deacon replied. "But, we're all gonna have to be strong, okay?"

The girls nodded, brushing away their tears.

"Okay, now you need to get into bed. And I know this is upsetting, but please, try to get some sleep," Deacon said as he eased himself from the floor to a standing position.

* * *

Deacon walked back into their room, he looked at Rayna in the bed, then headed into his dressing room in search of something to sleep in. He pulled a t-shirt from his drawer, pulling the button down he'd worn earlier in the day from his body, stiff with the water from the shower, flecks of Rayna's vomit covering the right sleeve. He sighed. Why was this happening to them? To her? They didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of it.

And more than anything, he knew how hard it was going to be. For her. For all of them. He pulled his stiff jeans off and slipped into a pair of knit shorts before heading back into the bedroom. He looked at the bed again, then crossed over to the chair in the corner, dropping into it. His body fell forward, his arms on his knees as he watched her sleep, watched her breathe. He was more a spiritual person than a religious one, but tonight...tonight he prayed for peace. For her. For them.


End file.
